“Trust Isn’t Lost— It’s Rebuilt From Within

How to Trust Again After Betrayal, Starting With Yourself

I was reading about Vince Neil’s breakup recently, and I had real empathy for him. As an '80s girl who grew up blasting Mötley Crüe, I’ve always had a soft spot for Vince. I’m a concert t-shirt and jeans kinda girl—music was my escape, my rebellion, my therapy. So when I saw that he ended his 15-year relationship after discovering his partner’s affair—thanks to his assistant finally speaking up—I didn’t just see a headline. I saw a man blindsided by betrayal, and I felt that ache in my chest that so many of us know too well.

It reminded me of the questions I hear all the time from clients: “How do I trust people again after something like this?”

And here’s what I always say:  You don’t start by trusting others—you start by trusting yourself.

Betrayal Doesn’t Just Break Trust—It Breaks Your Compass

When someone you love betrays you, it doesn’t just hurt—it scrambles your emotional GPS. You second-guess everything: your choices, your instincts, your worth. You replay conversations, wondering how you missed the signs. You feel like you’ve lost your ability to “read” people.

But here’s the truth: you’re not broken—you’re bruised. And bruises heal.

 What the Research Says About Trust and Betrayal

According to Psychology Today, betrayal by someone close shatters not just trust in that person—but trust in the world itself. The brain treats betrayal like physical pain, triggering fear, hypervigilance, and emotional disorientation.

Dr. Cynthia Vejar emphasizes that healing trust requires more than apologies or good intentions. It takes time, consistent action, and accountability. Think of trust like a glass-bottom boat: once it’s cracked, even calm waters feel dangerous.

 Rebuilding Trust Is a Process, Not a Promise

You’re not some machine that resets overnight. Rebuilding trust is slow, messy, and deeply personal. It’s not about becoming bulletproof—it’s about becoming brave again.

Here’s how you start:

1. Reconnect With Your Intuition

That gut feeling you ignored? It wasn’t wrong—it was silenced. Start journaling. Reflect on moments that felt “off.” Your intuition isn’t gone—it’s just waiting for you to listen.

2. Set Boundaries That Feel Like Armor, Not Walls

Boundaries aren’t punishments—they’re protection. Learn to say “no” without guilt and “yes” without fear. You’re allowed to guard your peace.

3. Forgive Yourself First

You trusted someone who didn’t deserve it. That doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human. Self-forgiveness is the foundation of self-trust.

4. Practice Vulnerability in Safe Spaces

Start small. Share your story with someone who listens without judgment. Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s strength with its armor off.

5. Redefine What Trust Means

Trust isn’t blind faith. It’s earned confidence. It’s consistency, empathy, and accountability. Create your own definition—and stick to it.

 Trusting Again Doesn’t Mean Forgetting

Vince Neil’s story reminds us that betrayal can come from those closest to us. But it also shows that truth has a way of surfacing—and when it does, we get to choose how we heal.

Trusting again doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t happen. It means saying: “I trust myself to walk away if it does.”

 Final Thought

You don’t need to trust everyone. You just need to trust yourself enough to know when someone isn’t safe. That’s not just healing—that’s power.