I used to ride my bike around the neighborhood until the streetlights flickered on. I’d explore with my friends, chase fireflies, eat popsicles that stained my lips neon red, and sculpt masterpieces out of mud. I didn’t care about getting dirty. I didn’t care about being perfect. I just was—wild, free, and alive.

But somewhere between that and “adulting,” the world started pelting me with shoulds.

You should be quiet. You should be polite. You should be strong. You should get over it.

And just like that, the wild-hearted child who danced in the dirt started to disappear.

When I work with clients—especially those healing from betrayal—I ask them to bring a photo of themselves as a child. Maybe age three. Maybe younger. I ask them to look into that child’s eyes.

Would you shame them? Call them names? Ignore their tears? Abuse them?

Of course not.

But we do it to ourselves every day.

Inner child work is the radical act of rescuing that child—the one who stopped trusting you because they got hurt over and over. It’s the process of saying, “I see you. I’m sorry. I’m here now.”

It’s not just healing. It’s homecoming.

 Who Stole Your Spark?

John Bradshaw, author of Homecoming: Reclaiming and Healing Your Inner Child, was one of the first to name what so many of us feel but can’t explain: toxic shame. He believed that when children are shamed, neglected, or emotionally abandoned, they internalize the belief that they are fundamentally flawed. That shame becomes a silent driver of addiction, codependency, perfectionism, and emotional numbness.

Bradshaw taught that the inner child is not just a metaphor—it’s a living, breathing part of our psyche that holds our earliest emotional experiences. And unless we reconnect with that part, we stay stuck in cycles of self-sabotage and emotional disconnection.

“The wounded inner child is the source of human misery. The healed inner child is the source of human creativity.” —John Bradshaw

 Why Inner Child Work Isn’t Soft—It’s Revolutionary

Let’s be clear: this isn’t therapy-lite. It’s emotional rebellion.

Inner child work is the process of unlearning the lies you were told about your worth. It’s about breaking generational cycles, healing trauma, and reclaiming emotional sovereignty. Bradshaw’s work has been foundational in addiction recovery, family systems therapy, and trauma-informed healing because it gets to the root—not just the symptoms.

 Write to “Little Me”: A Letter That Heals

One of the most profound ways to reconnect with your inner child is to write them a letter. Not a perfect one. Not a polished one. Just honest.

This is where the healing begins.

Here’s mine:

Letter to My Younger Self

Dear Little Me,

You were never too much. You were never too loud, too needy, or too fragile. You were just a child trying to survive a storm you never asked to walk through. I’m sorry that the people who were supposed to protect you caused you pain. I’m sorry no one taught you what safe love feels like. I see how hard you tried to make sense of chaos, to be good, to stay small. But I need you to know this: None of it was your fault. And now? Now I get to love you the way you always deserved. I get to choose relationships that honor us both. I get to protect your softness while celebrating your fire. You are no longer alone. We’re walking into healing together—from little me to grown me to future me—hand in hand, heart strong.

Love always, Leslie

 5 Fierce Ways to Reconnect

Ready to begin your own journey? Here are five powerful ways to start:

1. Name the Wound Journal the moments you felt unseen, unloved, or unsafe. Let the memories surface without judgment.

2. Write the Letter Let your adult self speak to your child self. Say what no one said. Offer love, protection, and truth.

3. Mirror Work Look yourself in the eye and say: “You deserved better. I’m here now.”

4. Create a Ritual Light a candle, play your childhood song, hold a photo. Make it sacred. Make it yours.

5. Speak Their Truth Let your inner child express through art, movement, voice memos, or play. Give them space to be.

 Reparenting = Radical Self-Respect

Reparenting is the act of giving yourself what you never received. It’s setting boundaries without guilt. Resting without shame. Celebrating joy without apology.

Bradshaw believed that healing the inner child allows us to become the loving, nurturing parent we always needed. And when we do that, we stop outsourcing our worth to others. We become whole.

 The Payoff: What Happens When You Heal

When you reconnect with your inner child, everything changes. You stop self-sabotaging. You start feeling again. You build deeper relationships. You trust yourself.

It’s like switching from grayscale to technicolor.

Your wild heart is not lost. It’s just waiting for permission.