What I’m Excited About and Embracing Now: Part 2 of What I’ve Had Enough Of

In Part 1, I wrote about what I’ve had enough of.

Potential.

Chasing.

Overexplaining.

Trying to belong.

Staying too long.

Confusing anxiety with connection.

Trying to fix environments that weren't right for me.

And most of all, abandoning myself just to keep something or someone in my life.

But here's the thing about letting go that we don't talk about enough:

Eventually, your hands are empty.

And at first, empty can feel scary.

We're so accustomed to filling space that the minute something leaves, we want to replace it.

Another relationship.

Another friendship.

Another goal.

Another person to figure out.

Another project.

Another distraction.

But I'm learning not to rush into filling the space.

Because maybe this isn't emptiness.

Maybe it's room.

And for the first time in a long time, I'm really excited about what I might do with it.

I’m Excited About Becoming More of Myself

For years, I thought growth was about fixing myself.

Become less anxious.

More confident.

More successful.

More disciplined.

More healed.

More whatever-the-hell I thought I needed to be before I could finally relax and feel good enough.

I'm not interested in treating myself like a never-ending home improvement project anymore.

I still want to grow.

God, yes.

But now I'm interested in becoming, not correcting.

There's a difference.

I want to know who I am when I'm not performing, proving, pleasing, achieving or trying to earn a place at the table.

I want to keep discovering the woman underneath all of that.

And honestly?

I really like her.

I’m Embracing Discernment

I used to think being loving meant giving people chances.

And sometimes it does.

But I'm learning that being loving doesn't require unlimited access.

I can have compassion for someone and decide they're not right for my life.

I can understand why someone behaves the way they do and still decide I don't want to participate in the dynamic.

I can wish someone well from a distance.

That's not bitterness.

That's discernment.

And discernment may be one of the greatest gifts I've gotten from everything I've been through.

I'm not looking for perfection.

I'm paying attention to patterns.

I’m Excited About Relationships 

I still believe deeply in relationships.

Maybe even more than I did before.

I'm just less interested in relationships that require one person to do all the emotional heavy lifting.

I want reciprocity.

Curiosity.

Warmth.

Attunement.

People who reach back.

People who celebrate with me instead of needing me to dim my light so they can feel brighter.

I've experienced what it feels like to diminish myself to keep the peace in a relationship. 

I'm not interested in doing that anymore.

I'm excited about relationships where nobody needs to become smaller for the other person to feel big.

I’m Embracing Boundaries That Keep the Right People Close

I'm thinking about boundaries differently these days.

Boundaries aren't walls.

They're not punishment.

They're not an elaborate way of telling everybody to stay the hell away from me.

They're information.

Here's what I need in order to stay connected to you.

That's actually incredibly relational.

Recently, I described boundaries exactly that way: something that can help keep us in relationships by being honest about what we need to remain in them. 

I love that idea.

I'm not building a fortress.

I'm finally putting a front door on the house.

And the people who belong in my life won't need me to remove the door to prove I love them.

I’m Excited About Choosing From Wholeness 

This one feels huge.

I don't want to choose environments that I have to dim myself. 

I don't want to achieve things because I'm trying to prove I'm worthy.

I don't want to make decisions from scarcity.

What if nothing better comes along?

What if this is my only chance?

What if I leave and regret it?

What if instead I asked:

What would I choose if I genuinely trusted that my life wasn't running out of good things?

That question changes everything.

I’m Embracing My Values

I'm questioning more.

Not cynically.

Consciously.

What do I actually believe?

What does integrity mean to me?

What does love mean?

What does friendship mean?

What does success mean?

What does spirituality mean?

What does commitment mean?

What kind of communities do I want to participate in?

What was I taught to value, and what do I genuinely value now?

I've been asking versions of these questions for a while, especially around living with integrity, choosing wholeness over comfort, questioning structures that don't align with my values, and continuing to evolve. 

I'm excited about building the next part of my life from those answers.

Not from should.

From truth.

I’m Excited About Not Knowing

This might surprise me most.

I'm becoming less afraid of the unknown.

I don't know exactly who will come into my life.

I don't know which friendships will deepen.

I don't know what opportunities are coming.

I don't know what I'll create.

I don't know all the places I'll go.

And I don't need to know.

There was a time when uncertainty felt threatening.

Now I'm starting to see it differently.

The unknown isn't always where something bad is waiting for you.

Sometimes the unknown is where something you've never experienced before is waiting.

That excites me.

I’m Embracing My Own Success

I don't want to minimize what I'm building anymore.

I don't want to make myself smaller because my growth might make somebody else uncomfortable.

I work hard. Really hard. I'm not going to apologize for being successful.  

I care deeply about the work I put into the world.

And I've learned that sometimes growth changes relationships. I've wrestled very honestly with the feeling that the more I've grown, the more I've sometimes felt people falling away.

That has hurt.

But I'm no longer willing to confuse shrinking with connection.

The right people don't need me unsuccessful to feel secure beside me.

And I want to become even better at celebrating other people's growth too.

There is room for all of us.

I’m Excited About Peace

Not boring peace.

Not hiding-from-life peace.

Not nothing ever bothers me because I'm so healed peace.

Real peace.

The kind where I don't wake up wondering what somebody meant.

The kind where I don't have to decode mixed signals.

The kind where my nervous system isn't constantly negotiating with something my intuition already knows isn't right.

I want adventure.

I want laughter.

I want creativity.

I want intimacy.

I want passion.

I want meaningful conversations.

I want to be challenged.

I’m Embracing the Right to Change My Mind

I used to think integrity meant sticking with things.

Finish what you started.

Be loyal.

Hang in there.

Work through it.

And yes, commitment matters deeply to me.

But I've also realized that loyalty to someone else shouldn't automatically take precedence over loyalty to yourself. Real love isn't a cage where you're required to suffer to prove your devotion. 

Sometimes new information changes things.

Sometimes you outgrow something.

Sometimes what worked five years ago doesn't work now.

Sometimes you simply realize:

This isn't me anymore.

I'm allowed to change.

I’m Excited About Creating

This chapter isn't just about what I'm leaving.

It's about what I'm building.

I want to create things.

Conversations.

Writing.

Ideas.

Work that matters.

A life that feels like mine.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about betrayal, healing, relationships, emotional safety, culture, growth and what it really means to live according to your values.

I'm excited about turning those experiences into something useful.

Not because I've figured everything out.

I haven't.

But because I finally understand that you can create something meaningful from what you've learned.

Sometimes meaning is part of becoming.

I’m Embracing a Softer Life Without Becoming a Smaller Woman

This might be my favorite part.

I don't want my strength to require hardness anymore.

I don't want healing to make me cynical.

I've been hurt.

I've been disappointed.

I've felt misunderstood.

I've lost people.

I've had things not turn out the way I desperately hoped they would.

And I still want to lead with my heart.

I've talked before about being “filled with heart” as an act of courage, refusing to let disappointment make you give up on yourself even though loving and living openly always carries some risk.

That's the woman I want to be.

Open, but discerning.

Soft, but boundaried.

Hopeful, but grounded.

Loving, but unwilling to disappear.

Strong, but not hardened.

Most of All, I’m Embracing Myself

Maybe Part 1 was:

I've had enough.

And Part 2 is:

I'm ready.

Ready to stop making every ending mean something went wrong.

Ready to trust that some things fall away because I no longer fit inside them.

Ready to meet people without scanning the environment. 

Ready to walk into rooms without wondering whether I'm good enough to be there.

Ready to create.

Ready to rest.

Ready to love.

Ready to be surprised.

Ready to let life come toward me instead of constantly chasing it.

I'm not interested in becoming fearless.

I'm interested in becoming free enough to move even when I'm afraid.

And maybe that's what this whole chapter has been about.

Not losing people.

Not leaving environments.

Not heartbreak.

Not betrayal.

Not even boundaries.

It's been about coming home to myself.

Part 1 was about everything I'm finally willing to put down.

Part 2 is about discovering what my hands can hold now that they're free.

And honestly?

I can't wait to find out.