I’ve been following the recent conversations about the so‑called “crisis of masculinity,” including Oprah’s interview with Scott Galloway. While I respect the urgency of his concerns, I don’t fully agree with the framing. Having worked as a therapist for nearly three decades with both men and women, I’ve seen firsthand that what we’re experiencing isn’t a collapse of masculinity—it’s a transformation. Social media has amplified the narrative of crisis, often distorting how we see relationships, gender differences, and even politics. Much of this content is not healthy or accurate, because it leaves out the humanity of how we see each other. At the core, we are all one, and the challenge is learning how to evolve together rather than apart.

 Oprah & Scott Galloway: Setting the Stage

Oprah recently hosted Scott Galloway on her podcast in an episode titled “Why Young Men Are Struggling Right Now.” Galloway, author of Notes on Being a Man, argues that society is experiencing a masculinity crisis fueled by loneliness, economic precarity, and the absence of healthy role models. Oprah’s conversation with him highlights how this issue is not just personal but systemic, and it sets the stage for a broader discussion about how masculinity and feminism can evolve together rather than clash.

This cultural moment invites us to step back and ask: is masculinity truly in crisis, or is it simply being reshaped by forces of history and social change?

 Masculinity in Crisis: A Historical Pattern

Looking at history, we see that masculinity has been declared “in crisis” many times before.

• During the industrial revolution, men left farms and workshops for factories, fueling fears of “softened” masculinity.

• After the world wars, soldiers returning home faced new domestic expectations that unsettled traditional hierarchies.

• In the 1970s, feminism challenged patriarchal norms, sparking debates about emasculation.

• Today, economic precarity, declining male workforce participation, and rising male suicide rates are often cited as evidence of crisis.

These moments weren’t endings—they were invitations to redefine masculinity. And that’s where healthier models come in.

Healthy Masculinity: Insights from The Way of the Superior Man (David Deida)

David Deida’s The Way of the Superior Man offers a blueprint for masculinity that isn’t about dominance but about authenticity and growth:

1. Live with integrity – Align actions with your deepest truth, not external validation.

2. Embrace purpose – Masculinity flourishes when men live with direction, responsibility, and a clear mission.

3. Balance strength and sensitivity – True power comes from combining confidence with emotional openness and vulnerability.

4. Respect feminine energy – Rather than fearing women’s empowerment, embrace polarity as a source of growth and intimacy.

5. Spiritual presence – Masculinity is not just physical or social; it includes being spiritually alive and present in relationships.

6. Commitment to growth – A superior man continually evolves, refusing to stagnate or cling to outdated roles.

7. Celebrate intimacy – Masculinity is deepened through authentic connection, not dominance or detachment.

Healthy masculinity reframes the conversation: instead of collapse, we see evolution toward authenticity and balance.

Feminism’s Evolution

Just as masculinity has evolved, feminism has transformed across waves.

• The first wave fought for legal rights like suffrage and property ownership.

• The second wave expanded into workplace equality, reproductive rights, and dismantling rigid gender roles.

• The third wave emphasized diversity, intersectionality, and inclusivity.

• Today’s fourth wave, driven by digital activism, tackles harassment, body autonomy, and systemic inequality.

Each wave has expanded freedom—not just for women, but for men too, by dismantling outdated expectations that limited everyone. This evolution opens the door to healthier forms of partnership.

 Healthy Feminism

Healthy feminism emphasizes collaboration rather than division:

1. Partnership over opposition – Equality benefits men too, freeing both from outdated roles.

2. Empowerment without exclusion – Advocate for women’s rights while encouraging men to embrace empathy and care.

3. Intersectional awareness – Recognize shared struggles across race, class, and sexuality.

4. Celebrating differences – Value polarity and diversity, encouraging men and women to bring their strengths together.

5. Collaboration – Focus on co‑creation rather than competition.

When feminism is practiced in this way, it becomes a bridge rather than a barrier.

 Partners Working Together

Ultimately, the future isn’t about men versus women—it’s about co‑creation.

1. Shared growth – Both partners evolve by supporting each other’s strengths and vulnerabilities.

2. Dialogue – Open communication about needs and expectations prevents resentment and builds trust.

3. Mutual respect – Healthy masculinity and feminism thrive when both sides honor each other’s humanity.

4. Co‑creation – Couples can model inclusive, balanced relationships that ripple outward into culture.

5. Resilience together – Facing challenges as a team strengthens bonds and demonstrates the power of partnership.

Partnership is where the evolution of masculinity and feminism finds its most practical expression.

 The Real Crisis: Mental Health

If we’re going to talk about crisis, let’s be honest: the deeper and more universal crisis is mental health.

• Digital isolation: Social media and digital obsession often replace genuine connection with curated, sometimes toxic interactions, fueling loneliness and anxiety.

• Rising prevalence: Nearly 1 in 4 American adults report experiencing a mental illness, yet only half receive treatment. Among youth, rates of depression and anxiety have surged, especially since COVID‑19.

• Access challenges: More than half of psychologists report they cannot take new patients, with waitlists stretching months. Treatment is often unaffordable or inaccessible, especially for marginalized groups.

• Systemic strain: Suicide and overdose remain leading causes of death, underscoring how untreated mental distress ripples across families and communities.

The real crisis isn’t masculinity—it’s the mental health epidemic that affects men, women, and children alike. Masculinity debates often distract from this broader issue: people are struggling to find affordable, accessible care in a culture that prizes digital engagement over human connection.

Conclusion

The “crisis of masculinity” isn’t a collapse—it’s a crossroads. Masculinity and feminism are evolving together, not apart. When men embrace integrity and purpose, and feminism champions partnership over division, the result isn’t crisis—it’s transformation. But if we’re honest, the real crisis is mental health—a crisis of isolation, access, and affordability. Social media may amplify distorted narratives, but the deeper truth is that we are all one, and our collective evolution depends on learning to see each other with humanity.