The Journey to Meaning: Finding Your Purpose After Betrayal

“…But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own…” — Mary Oliver, “The Journey”

After betrayal, heartbreak, or deep loss, one of the most common questions people ask is: “How do I find meaning again?” “What is my purpose now?”

The answer isn’t found in someone else’s approval or a perfectly mapped-out plan. It begins with something quieter, deeper, and more sacred: Rediscovering who you are. Learning to hear your true voice. Trusting it.

 The First Step Is Identity Work

When your world has been shaken, it’s easy to lose sight of who you are. You may start to define yourself by what happened to you, or by how others see you. But healing begins when you ask:

• Who am I beneath the pain?

• What do I believe in now?

• What do I need to feel whole again?

This is the work of reclaiming your identity—not the one shaped by survival or performance, but the one rooted in truth.

 Finding Your True Voice

Your true voice isn’t loud. It doesn’t shout. It whispers. It lives in your body, in your breath, in the quiet knowing that rises when you stop trying to be who others expect.

You find it by asking:

• What would love do?

• What feels aligned for me today?

• Whose voice is this—mine, or someone from the past?

• What do I need to hear right now?

When you speak from that place, there’s a peace that follows. A sense of rightness. That’s your soul saying, yes—this is you.

 Martha Beck’s Wisdom on Purpose

Martha Beck is a bestselling author, life coach, and Harvard-trained sociologist known for her work on personal transformation and spiritual alignment. She teaches that everyone has a life mission—but discovering it isn’t about striving. It’s about listening inward.

She describes two selves:

• The Social Self: shaped by expectations, fear, and performance.

• The Essential Self: your soul’s truth, the part of you that feels peaceful when you speak from it.

After betrayal, the Social Self often takes over, trying to keep you safe. But healing and purpose come when you reconnect with the Essential Self—the part of you that knows what feels right, even when it defies logic.

Your daily questions—What would love do? Whose voice is this? What do I need to hear?—are exactly the kind of soul-listening Beck encourages. They’re not just healing practices; they’re spiritual wayfinding tools.

 My Own Healing Practice

On my healing journey, I’ve learned that staying true to myself is a daily devotion. Each morning, I sit quietly and ask:

• What would love do?

• What am I grateful for today?

• Who do I need to send love to?

• Am I moving toward my goals—or further away?

• What would make me feel good today?

These questions help me return to myself. They remind me that my worth doesn’t need to be proven—it just is. They help me listen to my inner knowing, honor my truth, and move through the day with intention and grace.

 A Closing Poem: I Choose the Light

by Leslie Noble

I walked away from the voices that said— “You’re not pretty enough.” “You’re not smart enough.”  “Who are you to believe in yourself?” "Who are you to want those things?"

I stepped into the silence where my soul had been waiting— not with answers, but with presence.

I am not here to be measured, to be molded.

I am here to rise.

Each morning, I ask the wind, What would love do? And it answers— Be who you are, again.

I am the light and the stillness, the warmth and the wonder, the child on the playground who no longer waits for permission to dance.

This is my soul’s voice— clear, unapologetic, holy.

And I am listening.