The other day, a friend and I were talking about dating. Naturally, the conversation turned to red flags. It’s become one of the most popular terms in modern dating — almost like a checklist we carry around in our heads. But here’s the truth: we all have red flags. Every single one of us has flaws, baggage, or areas we’re still working on. The real question isn’t whether someone has red flags, but whether they’re committed to growth, healing, and becoming a better partner.

Dating coach Matthew Hussey often reminds us that the focus shouldn’t just be on avoiding flaws, but on raising our standards and choosing someone who shows up consistently. With that in mind, let’s talk about the green flags — the hallmarks of someone truly worth building with.

1. Consistency 

A good partner doesn’t leave you guessing. Their words and actions line up. They show up when they say they will, and they communicate clearly. Consistency builds trust, and trust is the foundation of any lasting relationship.  Hussey often says “Don’t listen to what they say, watch what they do.”

2. Honesty & Integrity 

Honesty isn’t just about telling the truth — it’s about living it. Integrity means their actions reflect their values. When someone’s behavior matches their words, you know you’re standing on solid ground.  You teach people how to treat you by what you accept — so don’t compromise on honesty.

3. Alignment of Vision 

Chemistry is great, but compatibility runs deeper. Do you share the same vision for the future? Are you aligned on what commitment looks like? A strong relationship isn’t just about liking each other — it’s about building in the same direction.  Hussey emphasizes that attraction alone isn’t enough; shared values sustain love.

4. Healing & Growth 

Everyone has a past. What matters is the work they’ve done to heal. A good partner doesn’t deny their history; they use it as leverage to grow. The goal isn’t perfection, but a willingness to learn, evolve, and become better together.  Hussey encourages seeing dating as a journey of growth, not perfection.

5. Responsibility & Independence 

Healthy love thrives when both people have full lives outside the relationship. A responsible partner pursues passions, goals, and responsibilities that make them whole. Independence prevents unhealthy dependency and keeps the relationship vibrant.  Hussey’s advice: fall in love with your life first.

6. Respect for Boundaries 

Respect is non-negotiable. A good partner honors your standards and boundaries, even when they differ from their own. Love without respect isn’t love at all — it’s control. True respect allows both partners to grow as individuals while building a shared life.  Boundaries aren’t walls; they’re standards. The right person will respect them.

 Closing Thought

Red flags may grab attention, but green flags are what sustain love. There is no “perfect” partner — only someone committed to growth, responsibility, and alignment. The real hallmark of a good relationship isn’t the absence of flaws, but the presence of consistency, honesty, respect, and a shared vision for the future.