“How Do I Let Go?” — The Quiet Courage of Moving On

Last week, I went to dinner with a dear friend who’s been navigating life after a long-term relationship ended six months ago. Between bites of pasta and sips of wine, she looked up and asked, “How do I let go?”

Her voice was steady, but her eyes carried the weight of something deeper—grief. Not the kind that comes with funerals or flowers, but the quiet kind. The kind that shows up when you realize someone who used to be part of your every day… isn’t anymore.

She wasn’t asking how to forget. She was asking how to stop carrying the ache. How to stop replaying the memories. How to stop hoping they’ll come back and say, “I made a mistake.”

 What “No Longer Serving You” Really Means

We hear this phrase a lot: “Let go of what no longer serves you.” But what does that actually look like?

It’s not always obvious. Sometimes it’s a relationship that’s turned toxic. Sometimes it’s a belief that keeps you small. Sometimes it’s a version of yourself you’ve outgrown.

Letting go doesn’t mean it wasn’t real. It means it’s no longer right. It’s recognizing that some things were only meant to carry you part of the way—and now, it’s time to walk on your own.

 Letting Go Often Feels Like Grief

Grief isn’t just for death. It’s for endings of all kinds:

• The job you thought you’d retire from.

• The friendship that slowly faded.

• The dream that no longer fits who you’ve become.

Letting go means grieving what was, even if it wasn’t perfect. It means allowing yourself to feel the ache of absence without rushing to fill it.

And grief is sneaky—it shows up in the mundane:

• Making dinner for one.

• Seeing their favorite show pop up on your feed.

• Reaching for your phone to text them, then remembering.

These moments are tender reminders that healing isn’t linear. It’s layered. And it’s okay to miss what you’re releasing.

 When Letting Go Comes with Anger

Sometimes, letting go isn’t soft. It’s fiery. It’s clenched fists and sleepless nights. Especially when betrayal is involved.

You’re not just grieving what was—you’re grieving what should’ve been. The loyalty you gave. The truth you expected. The respect you deserved.

Anger is a natural part of the process. It’s your body saying, “That wasn’t okay.” And it’s right. It wasn’t.

 How Do I Let Go of the Injustice?

This is the hardest part. Because injustice begs for resolution. For apology. For accountability. And sometimes… you don’t get it.

Here’s what helps:

• Validate your anger. Don’t rush to be “above it.” Anger is protective. It’s sacred. It means you cared.

• Separate justice from healing. Justice may never come. But healing is yours to claim.

• Reclaim your power. Betrayal takes something from you. Letting go is how you take it back.

• Channel the fire. Use the anger to fuel boundaries, clarity, and self-respect. Let it build something, not burn you down.

Letting go isn’t forgiving the betrayal—it’s freeing yourself from it. You don’t have to excuse what happened. You just have to decide: I won’t carry this anymore.

How to Begin Letting Go

Here are a few gentle ways to start:

• Name it. Say out loud what you’re releasing. Give it form so you can begin to unhook from it.

• Feel it. Don’t bypass the sadness. Let it move through you. Cry, journal, talk to someone.

• Ritualize it. Write a goodbye letter. Burn it. Bury it. Create a moment that marks the shift.

• Replace it. Fill the space with something nourishing—a new hobby, a new boundary, a new truth.

• Be patient. You won’t wake up one day and feel nothing. But you will wake up one day and feel lighter.

Final Thoughts

Letting go isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom. It’s the brave act of choosing yourself, even when it hurts. And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is whisper to yourself: “I’m allowed to move on.”

So if you’re sitting at dinner, asking the same question—“How do I let go?”—know this: you already have. The moment you asked, you cracked the door open. Now all that’s left is to walk through.