My Fascination with Energy

Energy has always felt to me like the invisible thread weaving our lives together. It’s not about gender—it’s about forces, currents, and rhythms that shape how we move through the world. I often imagine energy like Wi-Fi: unseen, but when you tune into it, suddenly everything connects. My fascination lies in noticing how these energies—masculine and feminine—play out in everyday life, especially in modern partnerships.

Defining the Energies

Think of masculine energy as the riverbank: strong, structured, giving direction. It’s the part of us that builds plans, sets boundaries, and drives forward. Feminine energy, on the other hand, is the water: flowing, adaptive, nourishing. It’s creativity, intuition, and the ability to receive and respond.

Neither is better. Without the riverbank, water floods everywhere. Without the water, the riverbed is dry and lifeless. Together, they create movement and life.

Why It’s Important to Know

Understanding these energies matters because they are universal forces within every human being, regardless of gender. As spiritual teacher Aletheia Luna explains: “Spiritual maturity is about nurturing, honoring, and balancing both sides of your nature. And ALL men, women, and non-binary people possess both the masculine and feminine aspects inside. Ignoring or suppressing one creates suffering.”

When we recognize these energies in ourselves, we gain tools for balance, resilience, and deeper connection. It’s not about stereotypes—it’s about wholeness.

The Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine

When we speak of the divine masculine and feminine, we’re not talking about men versus women. We’re talking about archetypal energies that exist in every human being.

• Divine Masculine: clarity, direction, conscious action. “When the Sacred Masculine is combined with the sacred feminine inside each of us, we create the ‘sacred marriage’ of compassion and passion in ourselves.” — Matthew Fox

• Divine Feminine: receptivity, intuition, creation. “She is water. Powerful enough to drown you, soft enough to cleanse you, deep enough to save you.” — Adrian Michael

The divine energies are like two wings of a bird: without both, we cannot truly fly.

 Signs You’re Overdoing One Energy (and How to Balance)

Overdoing Feminine Energy:

• Signs: difficulty setting boundaries, feeling scattered, seeking constant validation.

• Balance: add structure, practice decisive action, ground intuition with routines.

Overdoing Masculine Energy:

• Signs: constant busyness, controlling tendencies, burnout.

• Balance: allow play, practice receptivity, engage in flow-based activities.

 How Do We Get Out of Balance?

Imbalance doesn’t happen overnight. It’s often shaped by culture, upbringing, and survival strategies.

• Cultural Conditioning: Many societies reward masculine energy—productivity, achievement, control—while undervaluing feminine energy like rest, intuition, and receptivity.

• Family Patterns: If you grew up in a household where one energy dominated, you may unconsciously repeat that pattern.

• Trauma & Protection: Sometimes imbalance is a shield. Overdoing masculine energy can be a way to feel safe through control. Overdoing feminine energy can be a way to avoid conflict by yielding.

• Modern Pressures: In today’s fast-paced world, many people live in constant “yang” mode—deadlines, goals, hustle—leaving little room for “yin” practices like rest, creativity, or connection.

Metaphor: Imagine your inner compass: one side points toward structure, the other toward flow. When life’s storms hit—deadlines, stress, expectations—the compass tilts heavily in one direction. Balance begins by noticing the tilt and gently realigning.

 Modern-Day Partnerships: When Overfunctioning Breaks the Balance

Partnerships often falter when one person overfunctions in a single energy.

• Too much masculine: one partner controls all decisions, leaving the other unheard. The relationship becomes rigid, like a house with walls but no windows.

• Too much feminine: one partner avoids responsibility, leaving the other to carry all the structure. The relationship becomes chaotic, like a garden with no paths.

Over time, imbalance creates resentment and disconnection. Healthy partnerships thrive when both energies are honored, allowing fluidity and shared leadership.

Yin and Yang: Ancient Roots of Energy Balance

The idea of balancing energies isn’t new—it’s at the heart of Taoist philosophy. Yin and Yang originated in ancient China as a way of understanding the dual forces that shape the universe.

• Yin represents the receptive, fluid, and nurturing qualities (similar to feminine energy).

• Yang represents the active, structured, and directive qualities (similar to masculine energy).

The famous black-and-white symbol shows how each contains a seed of the other: yin holds a dot of yang, yang holds a dot of yin. This reminds us that no energy is pure or isolated—they constantly flow into and inform each other.

In Taoist thought, imbalance leads to disharmony, while balance creates health, vitality, and peace. Just as day needs night and inhale needs exhale, we need both energies to live fully.

 Seeing Yourself Clearly: The Mirror of Energy

To truly balance these forces, we first need to see ourselves clearly.

• Energy Journaling: Each day, ask: Did I act more like the riverbank (masculine) or the water (feminine)?

• Mirror Questions: Pause and ask: Am I pushing too hard? Am I yielding too much?

• Feedback from Relationships: Notice how others respond to you — their reactions often mirror your energy.

• Body Awareness: Masculine energy often feels like tension in the shoulders or jaw; feminine energy often feels like openness in the chest or belly.

Like a still lake reflecting your image, balance allows you to see yourself clearly.

 Guided Reflection: The Energy Balance Check-In

Step 1: Pause and Notice Ask yourself: Right now, am I more in “riverbank” mode (structured, driving, controlling) or “water” mode (flowing, receptive, adaptive)?

Step 2: Journal Prompt Write down:

• Signs of imbalance you notice.

• What’s missing — structure or flow?

Step 3: Micro-Shift Choose one small action to invite the opposite energy.

Step 4: Integration Close with this mantra: “I honor both the riverbank and the water. I carry both energies within me, and I choose balance.”

Closing Reflection

Masculine and feminine energy, divine archetypes, yin and yang—all point to the same truth: life is a dance of complementary forces. These energies are not about gender, but about wholeness.

So next time you notice tension in a partnership, ask yourself: is the riverbank too rigid, or is the water overflowing? Balance is the bridge to harmony.