Adopting my son overseas has taught me more about maturity than any textbook or training ever could. After graduate school, I worked in an international adoption agency, and that’s where I first met him—in an orphanage in St. Petersburg, Russia. He had been overlooked by Caucasian couples because of his skin color. When I looked into those big brown eyes, I just couldn’t leave him there. It has always felt meant to be. I have always believed I was supposed to be his mother.

And watching him grow has been nothing short of miraculous. As a baby, he was underweight and spent the first eleven months of his life lying in a crib. To see him now—an adult navigating marriage, bills, and the responsibility of maintaining fighter jets in the Air Force—fills me with awe. It has been an absolute miracle to witness his journey from that fragile boy to the man he is becoming.

Maturity, I’ve realized, is like that—it unfolds over time, shaped by circumstances, challenges, and choices. Each stage of life changes us, just as each new chapter of his journey has changed him. Maturity isn’t about reaching a destination; it’s about becoming, step by step, the person we are meant to be.

A Conversation with My Son

Just yesterday, we talked on the phone. He’s stationed in Las Vegas, newly married, juggling bills, and caring for a house. As we talked, I could hear the weariness in his voice. When I asked if he was okay, he sighed and said, “I’m tired of adulting.”

I laughed and told him, “Well, you only have about another 70 years or so of adulting.” He shot back, “Mom, if it keeps going at this pace, I don’t know if I’ll live that long.” His honesty made me laugh, but it also reminded me of something important: sometimes our kids don’t realize how much was taken care of for them, and now they’re navigating it all on their own.

That conversation also made me reflect: we often think adulting is just about hitting landmarks—marriage, career, home ownership—but maturity is deeper. It’s about growing and evolving, becoming the kind of person you’re meant to be. It’s not about perfection. It’s about finding meaning and purpose in the day‑to‑day, and figuring out your “why” so you stay rooted even when life feels overwhelming.

Growing in Maturity

Maturity isn’t a box we check off—it’s a lifelong process of becoming. It grows through experiences, challenges, and choices.

• Resilience in the Face of Challenges Growth in maturity means learning to endure setbacks without losing hope.

• Humility and Perspective Maturity grows when we realize we don’t have all the answers.

• Responsibility and Integrity Adulting isn’t just bills and chores—it’s about owning our choices and living in alignment with our values.

• Purpose and Meaning True maturity is rooted in knowing your “why.” Without it, adulting feels like endless tasks; with it, even the mundane becomes meaningful.

• Compassion and Connection Growth in maturity is measured not by achievements but by how we treat others.

Closing Reflection

Maturity is not about arriving—it’s about growing. It’s about becoming the kind of person who can carry both joy and sorrow, who can laugh at the weariness of “adulting” yet still find meaning in the journey.

And yet, even as we grow into maturity, we never stop needing connection. I’ll be visiting my son in Las Vegas the day after Christmas, spending New Year’s with him and my daughter. It will be the first time we’ve all been together in one place in two years. They already have a list of things they want to do—and things they want me to cook. It reminds me that even though they are adulting well, they still need their mom sometimes. (And...I'm definitely not complaining!!)

Maybe that’s the truest picture of maturity: knowing that independence doesn’t mean isolation, and that strength is found in both carrying our responsibilities and leaning into the relationships that give us joy, grounding, and meaning.

Reflective Questions for Readers:

• How have your challenges shaped your growth in maturity?

• What values serve as your compass when life feels overwhelming?

• In what ways are you becoming—not just achieving—the person you’re meant to be?

• Who are the people you still “need,” even as you grow into maturity?