The other day, a friend and I were talking about dating. Naturally, the conversation turned to red flags. It’s become one of the most popular terms in modern dating — almost like a checklist we carry around in our heads. But here’s the truth: we all have red flags. Every single one of us has f...
It starts early.
You’re five years old, and someone says, “Be good.” You’re praised for being quiet, polite, helpful. You learn that approval feels like love—and that love must be earned.
Later, you’re a student, an athlete, a sibling, a star. You get gold stars, trophies, compliments. You lear...
Marriage has always been a mirror of society—reflecting our values, our fears, and our hopes. But what happens when the very foundation of marriage shifts? When survival is no longer the goal, and emotional intimacy becomes the new frontier?
As a couples therapist with nearly 30 years of experie...
A World on Fire
Not long ago, the headlines were filled with images of people in the streets—voices raised, fists clenched, demanding change. Commentators called it chaos, anger, unrest. But beneath the noise was something deeper: a collective eruption of rage, a fire rising from broken bound...
I tell my clients this quote all the time:
“Pain pushes until vision pulls.” (Michael Beckwith, founder of the Agape International Spiritual Center.)
So many of us walk around feeling empty, isolated, and stuck. We replay old wounds, identify with our suffering, and convince ourselves t...
The Giggle Factor
As a couples therapist, I’ve noticed something funny: even grown adults turn giggly when the word sex comes up. Suddenly, it’s like we’re back in middle school health class, whispering and blushing. Couples ask me questions like, “How many times a week is normal?” or “Why do...
Our obsession with sameness and screens is eroding empathy, diversity, and resilience. The next generation is watching.
“Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.” — Brené Brown
We live in an age of constant contact, yet genuine connection feels inc...
How martial arts, Bruce Lee, and resilience teach us to rise again
Last night in Jiu Jitsu class, the instructor paused as my partner and I practiced a strike. He looked at both of us and said, “You can hit harder—because you’re learning to protect yourself. You can take the hit and not be hu...
"Recovery from childhood trauma is a lot like a growing up process—we must learn to do the things our dysfunctional parents did not teach us to do: appropriately esteem ourselves, set functional boundaries, be aware of and acknowledge our reality, take care of our adult needs and wants, and exper...
This week, I took my mom to a movie--she is turning 80 this week, so I try to grab moments when I can. We went to see "Regretting You." I didn’t know what it was about but, It turned out to be a story of loss, betrayal, and the complicated ways parents try to protect their children from truths t...
“The creative adult is the child who survived.” – Ursula K. Le Guin
When I was younger, I was told more than once that I could never make money being creative. Productivity and ambition were celebrated, but creativity? That was seen as frivolous, impractical, even a waste of time. So, I ...
“…But little by little, as you left their voices behind, the stars began to burn through the sheets of clouds, and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own…” — Mary Oliver, “The Journey”
After betrayal, heartbreak, or deep loss, one of the most common questions people as...
